Club food and feeding, or how to gain weight the easy way

[Everhard]

Most men visit clubs for sex. Not all men though. Looking myself in the mirror I remembered my grandmother's word 'you are too skinny, you should eat more'. Why not write a short guide for hungry and thirsty men, considering a possible budget constraint? I will give grades 1 to 5 (best) with FKK Oase as the benchmark. Because that is the club that I have most experience with. It is based on visits the past few months 2018.

FKK Oase - the benchmark
https://www.fkk-oase.de/
I paid entry €50 happy hour. Full entry is €70. Rating 3 of 5 for feeding.

Rating 3 of 5 cannot be really good, right? Wrong, what you get is a good breakfast and a good dinner. If it is sunny there is a grill buffet. It is not fine dining but nobody in their right mind would expect that. Compare with 10 years ago, the food was much worse. Actually infamous. Not to mention the minimum entry was higher at €65. Beer is sold at €5 per bottle (before €10). Beck's, Weissbier and possibly some other brand.

The girls mostly cater to wealthy asian visitors. Basically a shark tank. Not that many good looking girls either, at least not compared to some years ago.

FKK World
https://www.fkk-world.de/
I paid entry €49 happy hour. Full entry is €70. Rating 3 of 5 for feeding.

Like FKK Oase, good breakfast and most of the time good dinner. Always something to eat. Unbranded beer free of charge. It tastes reasonably good at the price but I would not pay for it.

More and more a shark tank when it comes to service. Not that many good looking girls either.

FKK Sharks
https://www.fkk-world.de/
I paid entry €45 Monday special. Full entry is €65. Rating 3 of 5 for feeding.

I got a tasty hamburger at the grill buffet so in that respect it is better than at FKK Oase. On the other hand you get the occasional burnt piece of meat at FKK Sharks. Not impressive. The beer costs €6 per glass.

The girls mostly cater to wealthy asian visitors. Basically a shark tank when it comes to service. I was impressed that I saw many more attractive girls here on a Monday, compared to Saturday at Oase.

FKK Finca Erotica
https://www.finca-erotica.com/
I paid entry €35 happy hour. Full entry is €50. Rating 3 of 5 for feeding.

The food is slightly worse than FKK Oase or FKK World, but I paid lower entry. If you pay the full entry you can drink free beer. Otherwise it costs €5 per bottle if memory serves me.

Some years ago I did not bother to visit Finca Erotica because it was so much better service at FKK Oase and other Hessen clubs. What happend is that the Hessen service deterioated but the service level at Finca Erotica stayed constant.

FKK Babylon
https://www.saunaclubs.org/clubs/english/de-plz5/saunaclub-babylon-elsdorf/index.php
I paid entry €60. Full entry is €60. Rating 2 of 5 for feeding.

The food is not bad, but the higher price must be considered. My two complaints about this club would be:
1. The breakfast is never refilled, no matter how many guests. After 11.30 or so all the good stuff is gone.
2. Although you get free beer, the glasses are dutch sized (max 20 cl) so you have to spend all your the time going back and forth to the bar. Before you could circumvent that by drinking Weissbier coming from 50 cl bottle but the past month or so they save money by serving unbranded weissbier from tap. Tastes like budget (Aldi?) and the glass is smaller than before.

Some years ago I did not bother to visit Babylon because it was so much better service at FKK Oase and other Hessen clubs. What happend is that the Hessen service deterioated but the service level at Babylon stayed constant.

Acapulco
http://www.fkkacapulco.de/german/home.html
I paid entry €40. Full entry is €40. Rating 2 of 5 for feeding.

No longer happy hour on weekend, that is why I had to pay full price. The grill buffet is really good for the price, but have to deduct a point for breakfast and drinking.

Acapulco Gold
http://fkkacapulco-gold.de/german/home.html
I paid entry €20 happy hour. Full entry is €30. Rating 3 of 5 for feeding.

The food is not impressive, but it is easy to get stuffed and the price must be considered. Free unbranded beer daytime but it tastes like shit, so no extra point for that.

Club Neby
http://www.neby.de/
I paid entry €25. Full entry is €25. Rating 1 of 5 for feeding.

At most you can eat some candy or cookie here. When it comes to paying entry, I think I have never been so ripped off in my life. Worst deal ever. 25 euro for a glass of coke. Nothing to eat and nothing to do. Even the sauna was turned off.

Was satisfied with my choice of girl though.

Diamond
https://saunaclub-diamond.de/
I paid entry €10 happy hour. Full entry is €30. Rating 4 of 5 for feeding.

You cannot beat this entry price. I would have to reconsider rating when happy hour entry is now €20. On the other hand there might be more girls nowadays. Visited a Monday afternoon. Found 2 girls and later 2 more. Poor line up, to say the least. I hope they attract more guests of both sexes because I like the facilities. Was told that Sunday is the day with most guests (you get free entry Sunday if you visited earlier in the week).

Heaven 7
https://www.heaven7-saunaclub.de/home/
I paid entry €15 happy hour. Full entry is €40. Rating 5 of 5 for feeding.

You almost cannot beat this entry price. I would have to reconsider rating when happy hour entry is now €30. The breakfast was not that impressive but there is something to eat all day. You can drink Bitburger beer free of charge. A very good fruit salad was served in the evening.

Living Room
http://livingroom.de/
I paid entry €60 Full entry is €60. Rating 4 of 5 for feeding.

The kitchen really good but you are also paying for it. I realised the past months this club is not so much an attraction without the free beer. When the club lost the permit to serve beer the entry was reduced to €50. I made a calculation that I actually lost money by visiting. Normally I drink for way more than the €10 difference. In that period the club was half dead daytime and completely dead at night. The beer is now back, but not all the guests. Also the buzz from before is lacking and the club continues to be almost dead at night. Not at all like before. I think the club should have stuck with the €50 entry until things picked up. Possibly until September or so.

Golden Time
https://goldentime.de/
I paid entry €60. Full entry is €60. Rating 5 of 5 for feeding.

This is the mother of all feeding. Do I need to comment? The menu contained 7 dishes including pizza and I ate all of them.

I continue to gain some kilos after each club tour! :cheers:

[Meme Moo]

For Michelin-ranking the saunaclubs even further: try PSR, Magnum and YY.

Then you will conclude that you will have to adjust the 'mother of all feeding' of GT.
And remember: like everything in this hobby quality beats quantity!

[vrije jongen]

really strange list, Sharks often has good Chinese food, Oase has decent pizza.

Finca is fairly bad and Acapulco and aca gold are horrible if you go in the week (weekend grilling is ok).

H7 is decent at the moment. Sakura has great bbq in the summer (they used to at least). Magnum is of course among the top, as is PSR (although they have been dropping off, but I don't go much. Panthera used to be great when they had a la carte cooking.

YY and SS have pretty decent offerings as well...

[Brad Clitt]

Magnum has great a la carte food, some time ago they were experimenting with grilling but that went a little wrong...

[Everhard]

I never tried Magnum because my impression is not good for daytime fucking. Mostly a night club. Maybe I am wrong.

Some years ago since I visited YY and PSR. Based on history I would still not have rated them 5 (best).


really strange list, Sharks often has good Chinese food, Oase has decent pizza. Well, it is feeding in relation to what I payed entry. Chink food at Sharks is really good but they don't serve it Mondays. Oase pizza I don't care for so much since the time I had to wait one hour. I say fuck the unreliable pizza service!

[stimpy3]

I like the idea of writing down the culinairy quality of clubs. OTOH: puh-lease, not another case of someone who goes to night-clubs at 11:00am tuesday mornings and then starts complaining about the club because it doesn't cater to THEIR wishes. Fuck off.


So here are my corrections for people coming in at 17:00-19:00:


FKK Babylon
4 out of 5.
Kitchen is OK, if you know how to order (write what you want on a paper and put it with a magnet holder on the kitchen door). Kitchen takes some time (20 minutes can happen). There's also food in rechauds (typicalle either pasta, rice or fries and chicken pieces/rind meat + sauce/schnitzels). In summer, there's also a grill. Both the grill and the kitchen serve food till 21:00, after that you have to help yourself with the salad bar or the soup.

4 out of 5 only because of there being no good place to eat your food and the varying quality of the menu dishes.

Acapulco
1 out of 5.
Apart from the fact that you really got to like grilled chicken, fried nuggets/fastfood or wet fries: arrive before 21:00 or you'll find nothing to eat. Sometimes there's even nothing to eat at 20:00. Basically, you come here to fuck, cheaply; eating is best done beforehand.

Heaven 7
5 out of 5
The kitchen over here is so good, that when the entry was still 30 euro I made a stop here only for the food. Getting laid here was a nice extra. No restaurant, food is prepared in rechauds, but good variety and nice combinations. Rechauds are refilled until at least 22:00. Recommended.

Park Sauna Residenz
4/5 out of 5
Restaurant quality. Noted too that the portions are mid-sized, making it easier to order twice. Nice variety of cold salads, but somehow it doesn't 'click' as well as Heaven 7. Also offered: bread, jams, soup. Missing: warm food like in magnum/heaven 7. Usually 10 to 12 items to choose from, plus 4 different desserts, but usually only one of the desserts is particulary appetizing. Would have gotten 5 out of 5 if the salad bar was just a bit better; restaurant is on the top of the list. Enough space to sit and eat, plus really nice, relaxing atmosphere. Really good to visit in autumn and watch the view outside while having a good lunch. Wellness at its best.

Magnum
5 out of 5
Similar or better quality as PSR, plus a nice selection of rechauds with fried chicken pieces, various warm meat+sauce combinations, pasta/rice/fries, cold salads, etc. Dessert of the day varies between 'OKish' (mostly) and 'really good'. Also plenty of space to sit and eat, but the restaurant is 'inside', so you don't eat here for the view. Recommended for quality.


Villa Vertigo
4 out of 5
Owned by the same guy who also owns Magnum, which shows. Restaurant is in all respects the lesser of the two; less variety in salads and warm meals. Kitchen works way slower than Magnum (expect to wait 20-25 minutes after you've ordered, and forget about ordering desert, as you'll never get it). Limited seating capacity inside, typically a 'summer restaurant', where you eat outside, looking at the big garden.

Finca Erotica
-1 out of 5
Yeah, that's MINUS ONE. No restaurant. Food (in rechauds) is prepared and served at 18:00. Before that, there's nothing. NOTHING. Well, some fruits. At 18:00, when food is finally served, you quickly end up waiting in a line with all the girls. Then you find out why: there's no replenishing. Also, the rechauds don't keep the food warm, so if you wait 'till 18:30, you end up eating cold/slightly warm food. After 19:00 there's no food again. WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY?

Oh, and the so-praised 'service' of the girls over here is nonexistent. This is the bielefeld of 'service'clubs. It shouldn't exist. Please, pass this club and either drive to PSR, Magnum or Babylon, for better food and better women.


Club Xanten
0 out of 5
There are two or three rechauds with food which looks barely eatable (spaghetti and some kind of sauce). The women over here are overaged with 'a little extra', which they probably got *before* they went to this club. Skipped the food here because I wouldn't be surprised I ended up sitting the whole day on the toilet. This one is for the fans, not for me.

Schieferhof, Hennef-Lichtenberg
1 out of 5
Some snacks served here. Basically, you come here to have amazing sex (which can actually happen). Hunger is best quenched with either beer from the bar downstairs, or ordering a pizza from elsewhere.

[Badslippers]

Living Room
In that period the club was half dead daytime and completely dead at night. The beer is now back, but not all the guests. Also the buzz from before is lacking and the club continues to be almost dead at night. Not at all like before. I think the club should have stuck with the €50 entry until things picked up. Possibly until September or so.


Due to shady, poor and arbitrary management. Around 2009 there was a stylish and representative lady manager. Blond hair, elegant and tastefull clothing (most of the time classical blazer outfit). Forgot here name. That was the time the club was blowing on all cylinders.

[Everhard]

Finca Erotica
-1 out of 5
Yeah, that's MINUS ONE. No restaurant. Food (in rechauds) is prepared and served at 18:00. Before that, there's nothing. NOTHING. Well, some fruits. At 18:00, when food is finally served, you quickly end up waiting in a line with all the girls. Then you find out why: there's no replenishing. Also, the rechauds don't keep the food warm, so if you wait 'till 18:30, you end up eating cold/slightly warm food. After 19:00 there's no food again. WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY?

Ha ha. I am no Finca fanboy but I do have to comment that my last visit there was still food close to midnight. No idea if cold or warm and whether it had been replensihed or was leftovers from 18:00.

[vrije jongen]

Finca has breakfast and then diner at 17.30 or 18.00... sometimes they run empty for a while, but they will refill eventually. For 35 euro's at least as good as the two aca's for food (and obviously sex).

[stimpy3]

There is this notion that Finca Erotica is one of the best clubs in NRW , surpassing PSR in terms of environment, restaurant facilities, women and that the service of those women is als fabulous. Probably because one ijsbeer had a nice experience there, loooong ago, and decided to write about it here. Since this club is a bit further out and people usually stick to clubs closer by, nobody bother to check this. Anyway, this club doesn't live up to those standards, on all four fronts. It's comparable to Acapulco, but more expensive (50 instead of 40e).

[vrije jongen]

Finca is not in NRW, on all the aspects you named it is better than some, but worse than others. In general it is a decent club; two summers ago the line up was really good.

[stimpy3]

No, it's not. Why is it so hard to accept that clubs can deteriotate?

[vrije jongen]

So, how often have you been lately?

Verstuurd vanaf mijn Moto G (4) met Tapatalk

[stimpy3]

Ik ben er een keer geweest: https://www.ijsberenforum.com/forum/showthread.php?2203-Finca-Erotica-(Dierdorf)-Algemeen&p=552088&highlight=#post552088
Waarom zou ik mń geld verspillen aan kutclubs als er zoveel betere zijn? En als een forum-flapdrol beledigd is omdat ik vervelende dingen zeg over z'n clubje, jammer dan.

[vrije jongen]

Hahaha:hammer:, hoe kun je nou stellen dat een club verslechterd is als je er maar 1 keer bent geweest? En op basis van een bezoek zo stellig weten hoe het zit, goh wat geloofwaardig.

Zoals ik al eerder zei - en ik was er twee weken geleden nog - zijn sommige dingen goed en andere minder, net zoals bij de meeste clubs. Wat de club zelf betreft is alles in ieder geval de precies hetzelfde gebleven de afgelopen twee jaar en twee jaar geleden was de line up bijzonder goed met slanke, jonge meiden. Sindsdien zijn daar wat minder van, zeker in de vakantietijd.

Er zijn echt een hoop veel slechtere clubs te vinden hoor. Waarbij ik nergens zeg dat Finca de beste club ooit is... en kennelijk is dat oordeel op een stuk meer gebaseerd dan dat van jouw.

[stimpy3]

Als je genoegen neemt met raambuurtensex, ja, dan is Finca best een 'prima club'. Maar 'serviceclub', dat is iets wat Finca zeker niet kan waarmaken. Je kan best eens pech hebben in een club, maar niet 2x achter elkaar op dezelfde manier. Dan is het een cultuurdingetje, en dan verdien je al helemaaaaaal niet het stempel 'net zo goed/beter als PSR'. PSR is echt totaal andere klasse, zowel qua 'service' als wbt voedsel (waar dit topic over ging). En waarom zou ik als een ezel mezelf twee keer stoten aan dezelfde steen? D'r zijn voldoende betere alternatieven te vinden, op kortere afstand van nederland.

En natuurlijk zijn d'r slechtere clubs te vinden. Xanten bijvoorbeeld. Ga ik ook niet naartoe, tenzij ik opeens een voorkeur ontwikkel voor het neuken van overjarige 40+-koeien.

[pret]

Pret's club food ranking:

Villa Vertigo :4ster:
Yin Yang :5ster:
Six Sense :3ster:
Magnum :5ster:
Park Sauna Residence :5ster:
Golden Time :1ster:
Living Room :1ster:
Babylon :2ster:
Samya :4ster:
Heaven 7 :3ster:
Acapulco Gold :2ster:
Bernds :1ster:
Salome :3ster:
Planet Happy Garden :3ster:

[Knabbel]

Around 2009 there was a stylish and representative lady manager in Living Room. Blond hair, elegant and tastefull clothing (most of the time classical blazer outfit). Forgot here name. That was the time the club was blowing on all cylinders.

Jessy

[schoolmeester]

De PERFECTE saunaclub bestaat niet: elke saunaclub heeft zijn voor-en nadelen.

Groet, schoolmeester.

[deket]

Pret, LR en GT krijgen wel erg weinig. Sixsens mag ook een sterretje meer indien je zo gul bent met H7 (ben zelf maar 1 keer geweest daar in de Heaven, maar zowel eten als lineup was toen niet veel soeps, de soep zelf ook niet:wink2:)
PSR is uiteraard uitstekend voor eten maar liever geen bejaardenhuis. (Ben er wel al lang niet meer geweest)
Anyway, zulke waardeoordelen betreffende lijsten zijn uiteraard altijd subjectief zoals bij de dvps zelf ook

[Badslippers]

Jessy
Check. Dat was ze inderdaad. Man, man, jij hebt een geheugen als een olifant.

[Partycrasher]

De PERFECTE saunaclub bestaat niet: elke saunaclub heeft zijn voor-en nadelen.

Wassenaar Chicks zou heel erg dicht in de buurt komen. Al was het maar dat er in het restaurant een pop van een dj zou staan in plaats van een dj in de saunaclub. Die pop zou fungeren als bak voor gebruikte messen en vorken. Die kan iedereen dan overal in die pop steken, en als die pop is volgestoken worden ze door het personeel opgehaald.

[Willem2]

@Partycrasher
Het wordt tijd voor je om een tijdje uit de zon te blijven en je voeten in een waterbadje te stoppen....

[rob45]

Die pop zou fungeren als bak voor gebruikte messen en vorken. Die kan iedereen dan overal in die pop steken, en als die pop is volgestoken worden ze door het personeel opgehaald.

Een soort van voodoo of zo...?
Misschien toch idd beter een bakje koud water.. [emoji848][emoji2]

[Partycrasher]

Een soort van voodoo of zo...?
Misschien toch idd beter een bakje koud water.. [emoji848][emoji2]

Laat ik het zo zeggen: ik hoop dat voodoo bestaat.

[JonnyFontane]

@Partycrasher
Het wordt tijd voor je om een tijdje uit de zon te blijven en je voeten in een waterbadje te stoppen....

Die heeft inderdaad last van een zonnesteek.

[Meme Moo]

Die heeft inderdaad last van een zonnesteek.

Ik vrees eigenlijk van niet.
En dat is nóg erger!

[Firehawk]

Laat ik het zo zeggen: ik hoop dat voodoo bestaat.

Dan waren er een hopen beren gesneuveld, jij inclusief. :biggrin:

[Eddy_V]

Laat ik het zo zeggen: ik hoop dat voodoo bestaat.
Laat ik het zo zeggen: als Lilly weer in de buurt is begint het bij mij te jeuken...

Mbt dit topic : ik verdenk haar ervan dat ze dan een zoete omelet met kersenjam gebakken heeft.
Dat heeft ze in Sixsens geleerd waar ze de lekkerste omeletjes in allerlei soorten en maten bakken.